Afraid to leave my house, afraid to check social media, afraid to see you smiling with someone else, I can’t live this way, nobody needs me, nobody wants me.
It’s a deep pain, not one you can feel, just something you can’t deny. Something you can’t stop thinking about and something that slowly gets worse. There’s no treating it, there’s just the suffering and waiting until hopefully one day you wake up and it’s no longer with you. You feel the pain, see the pain, breathe the pain, think the pain, it consumes you. Lucky to get your mind somewhere else for a few minutes feeling nothing, which somehow is better. It’s a particular pain, a deep pain. A pain in the heart, of the heart.